In my previous post I used the analogy of” Love Land and Fear Peninsula” to describe the different paths we can take in life; and I posed the question:
“Where is your internal GPS taking you?”
In all honesty, this was just my clever clogs way of delving into the idea that we can either:
“choose to live in love or choose to live in fear”
And implore each of us to recognise that all of our actions, even those that seam insignificant, are a indicator of which route we’re choosing. But part of me believes that I failed to make a vital point clear; in my desire to be quirky. I’d like to remedy that, if I may?
What it means to live in love:
“To truly believe that the world is a friendly, hospitable place. To understand the even when nothing makes sense; that all things are working as they should be in both your life and the universe in general. To acknowledge that your role is to show up in life as the highest, most compassionate, kind, forgiving and response-able, version of you.
Every day. In every situation. In all things. With all people.
To believe that you are ’imperfectly perfect’, evolving through each experience into the wo/man you have always been destined to be, and there is nothing, no calamity, set back or disappointment that can thwart that process”. THE END.
Notice, I never said living in love or getting to Love Land was easy. In fact, living in fear may in some ways be a darn sight easier? Some may disagree with my definition of what it means to live in love. I challenge them to educate me otherwise. If they cannot or do not, I’ll stick with what my heart already knows.
So, when you make the decision that you will live a life guided by love, there are 2 guidelines and a couple of tools that’ll help to get your journey off to a good start and I’d like to share those with you.
Rest stop on route to Love Land
1. Choose your driving companions wisely
“Show me your company and I’ll tell you who you are” ”who you sit under, you be come like”. I bet you’ll have heard one of those sayings at least once in your life. Well I hope you paid attention; as they are infinitely true. The people in your life will either lift you up or bring you down. Some have no impact at all.
Can I be so blunt as to say “loose yourself of the latter 2 kind”. They only serve to waste your time, drain your energy and skew your focus. Let your social circle be an accurate and vibrant reflection of who you are. Hang out with people who demonstrate through their words and actions that they are heading in the same direction as you and share similar values. Spend your time with people who know how to live with integrity.
2. Pack well for the journey
I know I made exploring these ideas super difficult from myself with all these driving analogies, but bare with me.
When you set out on a long journey with no EST; one that will see you face difficult and challenging terrain ( LIFE), it’s important that you have tools in the trunk should you run into trouble along the way and some extra food and water should you get a flat tire.
Tool 1. Patience. Learn to be more patient with yourself and others. You will make mis-takes along the way, it’s cool
Tool 2. Be kind to yourself. When we decide to live our best lives, it’s easy to become excessively critical of ourselves all the times when we fail to put our best foot forward. Refer to tool 1
Tool 3. Get used to facing challenges and difficulties head on. Being an ostrich is great for.. well…an…ostrich. If you want to live an extraordinary life chances are you will face some out-of-the ordinary challenges. Stop being a pussy-cat, flex your courage muscle, get stuck in and remember that you’re infinitely powerful.
- What tools do you use to live with more love in your life?
- How do you go about selecting the people to come along on that journey with you?
- What have been the biggest challenges you’ve faced since you started on the journey?
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Hey Stacey – very nice post here!
I’m surrounded by love. I’m a blessed man! For me, I’m a matter of perspective and keeping myself around good people.
What do I mean by good people…people that are good for me. People who don’t pour negativity in my life. It’s really as simple as that.
I have a lot of family who aren’t in the best positions that life has to offer. This naturally weights on my shoulders from time to time. I don’t ignore it though, I embrace it and try to be as helpful as possible.
Hi JK, you make a great point..some of the people in our lives that cause us the most heart ache we are related to by blood. Not so easy to just cut off cold turkey, neither do we want to! My family situation has always been difficult. Were what the social services would call dysfunctional.lol We got the drug addicts, drug pushers, bad parents, difficult sister…all wrapped up in one lovely bunch. I love them all, wish them well, and have put on my superwoman cape, more times that I care to remember to come to their rescue and help make life better for them. It’s weird, I’ve come to realisation that I can only do so much, I am NOT responsible for the outcome of their lives and MUST continue to live my own life ( I was slowing my dreams down) even whilst loving them. There have been times I have forgotten that and myself, in my desperate desire to love them through everything and create a better outcome, but sometimes you empower and enable the drama by getting too involved. I’ve had to leave some things in Gods hand.
Tell them you love them, show them you love them by being supportive, respectful honest and encouraging, then go out and pursue your own life I say..after all we only get one right?
Lordy, with those knuckleheads I hang with I don’t who is dragging who down………
You make a good point; yes the world can be cruel and very indifferent, but if you surround yourself with the right people and right attitude it makes it much easier to live in love.
I also concur on how well you are packed for the journey makes a big difference on the ultimate outcome.
And that’s what I will say about that. I hope your day and week have gone well; good to see you and thanks for sharing.
Bill Dorman recently posted..4 Random observations via my vlog
Do you make me laugh Mr D. I’ve had to do social laundry a few times in my life, where it can become evident that some of the people in my life are more of a hindrance or a pain than a help and a pleasure. It’s not easy, but if its been a well thought through decision, I’ve never regretted it. Even letting go of people can be done with love I think. ” Make your case, and move on, lol”.
Thanks for sharing Bill
Hi Stacey,
I once heard that ” we are the average of the five closest people we surround ourselves with”. I’ve never forgotten that statement.
I used to surround myself with needy people and i felt myself becoming needy. Then i surrounded myself by corporate types and i saw myslef become this type A brief case carrying business woman. Lately i’ve been surrounding myself with family and my virtual acquaintances who are fast becoming friends. This last group has made me feel the most fulfilled and happy.
Annie Andre recently posted..My Location Independent Business Toolkit: Not your typical home business: Video
Hi Annie, I’ve begun to realise just how heavily we really are influenced by our company. Both consciously and subconsciously. It’s totally important to chose our companions wisely..especially as we get older and have more at stake in life. Thanks for sharing
Twitter: Goalsblogger
July 24, 2011 at 1:09 pm
Hi Stacey,
Love and fear? What a subject you chose.
I guess those two don’t mix well, do they?
I will try to love more and be less judgmental (not easy, not easy)
Posts like this remind me to expand my thinking into more higher consciousness stuff, not just the visible, simple stuff.
After all, we are spiritual (I often forget that truth in my daily business dealings).
Thanks a lot,
Derek
Derek Potocki recently posted..Knowing without doing is not knowing
That’s all there is LOVE of FEAR….I know which I’d choose : )
Twitter: Mazzastick
July 24, 2011 at 1:45 pm
Hi Stacey,
I found that living life with a closed heart made me feel numb and weak. Opening my heart and choosing/allowing the right people to come in makes life more enjoyable.
For me it is all about balancing my life and my priorities and to be willing to be authentic even if it means it may cause an imbalance in a relationship.
Justin recently posted..12 Values and Beliefs to Guide Your Life
Justin you nailed it here..living with a closed heart made me feel numb and weak to ..except it took a while to realise it..well I guess thats what happens when your numb. Thanks for sharing your wisdom
Twitter: BetsyKCross
August 7, 2011 at 4:26 pm
Stacey,
What a thought-provoking post!
I’ve figured out something about myself and that is I like everybody. Just be genuine. You can be a genuine jerk And I’ll put you in my “he’s funny/I need a laugh today” pile. You can be arrogant, shy, funny, or depressed. I don’t care. But there are two types of people I can’t relate to or with because they put up really high and strong walls. Liars and people who talk AT me and have no desire to have a relationship. I feel compassion but no relationship.
Having said that, I still want to be around people who see and speak about the best in people and things. I can’t tolerate negativity or anger. Worthless stuff. I do feel compassion for people suffering with those self-imposed traits though.
The biggest challenge I’ve faced is hanging on one more day when I’m discouraged and finding the reason to move forward when I don’t know if I matter.
The best tool? I always look at a person and say,”he was someones baby once.” Then I feel compassion for them. That vision keeps me from judging them too harshly. ‘Cause I want them to see me that way, too.
Hey lady…can I just say, I really appreciate the way you take the time to go back through the archives and add your special flavour. You are proof the what we put out on our blogs is not just ‘content’..and disposable. Thank you. I found it interesting when you say you “can’t tolerate anger”. I would say that anger is a completely valid and rational emotion, and has its place from time to time in all of our experience and expression of life. To repress or dismiss anger would be like to dismiss or repress joy? It’s totally ok to FEEL it..its what we do about it..that defines our character ..in my opinion anyway….what do you think?
I agree with you about surrounding yourself with positive people who actively seek out the best in people and things….being around people too wrapped up in negativity is ultimately really rather draining and time consuming. Thanks for coming over Ms Betsy…I love the insight you bring to things.xx
Twitter: BetsyKCross
August 8, 2011 at 7:29 am
Stacey,
Boy you really pay attention. It’s weird that I said I can’t tolerate anger. I’m trying to remember what I was thinking. Maybe I meant ABUSE. Venting is understandable. We all have our way of expressing ourselves. A few situations have taught me that there are times when someone is just looking for a punching bag. They have issues with something and I just happen to be there when they explode. I’ve felt blind-sided many times by others’ anger. I just want to get past that emotion so I can hear what they’re saying. But my heart usually hurts and needs some distance ’til they can calm down. I can’t stand big, bulgy red faces and fingers pointing up my nose! Sometimes I’ll bust up laughing. That’s not good either.
So, THAT’S what I mean. It’s not the FEELING of anger, it’s the EXPRESSION of it when their intention is to use me to deflect the real issues. I’m not too quick on my feet and I’ll turn in on myself and think I’m to blame for the whole mess instead of just my part of it.
Betsy Cross recently posted..An Emotional Payoff!