It is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you will not be imperilled in a hundred battles ~Sun Tzu
This week I have something special for you. The launch of a new My Lifestyle Max series on “Rejection”, and the first guest post on MLSM – from the one and only Derek Potocki of Goals Blogger.
So I’m gonna say nothing more and let Derek take the stage. Take it away Derek.
Some time ago I realized a powerful thing. “If I want to have a great life, I have to study the forces that conspire against me”
Life ain’t no picnic (in case you haven’t noticed), and those forces are real. Believe me! There are 5 powerful enemies that will destroy you and your chances for a great life, if you don’t know how to deal with them.
I use the acronym ’DFORC’ to describe these enemies:
In this post I will focus on rejection. Rejection by friends; in particular.
Before I begin, I have a few questions?
How many friends should we have and what’s the criteria?
If there IS a criteria for the number of friends we should have, then who set it up?
Here is my answer:
“Since life doesn’t come with an instruction manual, then neither should the number of friends you have; be set in stone.”
Facebook wants you to have 456 friends. Your church wants you to have at least 11, Twitter wants you to have 34,567 friends (it calls them an awful name : Followers).
The Bible gets my vote. The bible is smart.
It doesn’t give a specific number of friends you should have. I think you’ll find the Bhagavad-Gita probably doesn’t either?
So now we’ve cleared that up, we can safely say that the range of friends you should have; should be anywhere from 0 to 34,567. But analysing the numbers is of little help, because we don’t often use numbers to quantify the quality of our relationships. We use emotions instead.
That’s why rejection sucks and being rejected by a friend, sucks even more.
As far as I’m concerned, there is no cure for feeling bad after rejection. Many of us literally shape our lives to avoid rejection at all costs; that’s how powerful the force of rejection is.
The bad news is: Rejection is a fact of life. It happens all the time.
But thank goodness, there is good news.
The good news’ you’re reading my post and I’m about to teach you how to manoeuvre through rejection like a Ninja, with 5 Secret Ninja Weapons That Cut Through Rejection Like A Katana. And you can use them; any time rejection strikes with its brutal force.
So take a sip of sake, a deep breath, and let’s go.
5 Secret Ninja Weapons That Cut Through Rejection Like A Katana
1.Black Ninja Suit - Symbolizes Mission.
Ninja puts on a black suit, before he goes on a mission. The suit says: I’m ready, I know exactly what to do, I have mission to fulfil.
You absolutely have to have a Mission in life and be passionate about that mission. Your passion is your ultimate weapon against rejection. Think about it. If you have a goal, a passion, a MISSION, occasional rejections will not make any difference.
They will be irrelevant in the great scheme of things. But you have to create passion in your life. If you don’t have it, you’re very vulnerable to rejection. You are weak.
2. Black Split-Toe Ninja Boots – Symbolize High Self-Esteem
Ninja uses Split-Toe boots, to firmly grip the ground and maintain balance. To stand with confidence. The Split-Toe boots symbolize high self-esteem.
You have to high self-esteem. People are not going to run around and worship you all day; they have better things to do. If you don’t have high self-esteem, do everything you can to develop it. Please trust me on this. You need high self-esteem to deal with challenges in life, especially rejection.
3. Katana (Japanese sword) – Symbol Of Detachment From The Outcome
Ninja uses Katana. In our case; Katana symbolizes cutting yourself off from the outcome we are after.
Detachment is a hard thing to achieve. So is mastering the Japanese sword. But only after you understand the principle of detachment from the outcome, can you fully go after ‘the outcome’. It’s a paradox only few understand.
By detaching yourself, you don’t abandon the outcome. You become a master – not a slave to an outcome. Therefore when rejection strikes, you are still powerful because you can live without that outcome. You are composed.
Being needy is like being a rejection magnet. Every time someone rejects you and you start dancing to the ”I can’t live without you” tune, you become blind to all the greatness that is around you and attract even more of what you don’t want. Rejection!
People won’t always do what you expect; including your friends. So get over it. You can’t control everything and neither should you want too. Fall in love with the element of surprise and unpredictability. Life is more beautiful with the element of surprise.
4. Grappling Hook - Symbolizes Transformation
Ninja will use a grappling hook to climb through walls. He will use walls to his advantage.
Every rejection is an opportunity for learning and can be transformed into a lesson. Asking yourself questions like:
.Why was I rejected? .Maybe I didn’t meet the criteria? .What is the criteria? .Can I try again with a different approach?
Help you learn the lessons a lot faster.
It’s possible that the rejection you’re experiencing is only temporary. You’re being rejected simply because you don’t meet the specific criteria. All you have to do is to figure out the criteria and all of a sudden you are not rejected any more. Magic!
If you get rejected by a friend, maybe it wasn’t the right friendship in the first place. Or maybe it’s just a temporary rejection. Don’t jump to fast conclusions. Think.
5.Shuriken ( “throwing star” ) -Symbolizes New Opportunity
Ninja will throw a Shuriken to attack from a distance and completely catch the enemy off guard. It’s an unpredictable and stealth form of attack.
Every obstacle presents a new opportunity. Sometimes things have to die for new things to be born. Let’s say you get rejected by all your friends (unlikely), then that’s actually a great opportunity to start new friendships. Right!
The pain of rejection is a fact. Be prepared to experience it, but you don’t need to drag the burden of it to eternity. It’s ok to let it go! If all your friends reject you, just contact me via my blog. Who knows, maybe it will be a start of a new, fantastic friendship between us.
If everything else fails, open a Facebook account. 456 friends are waiting to “Like” you long time, and I doubt that each one of them will reject you. If they do, at least they won’t do it all at once. Now that would be a massive rejection
And even if that happens, there still is Twitter and Google +.
- Which of these ninja weapons would you use to handle being rejected by a friend?
- Have you experienced rejection in friendship before, how did you deal with it?
- What weapon did I miss? Share with us your secret weapon for dealing with rejection?