#NicheAmnesty.TV – Blogging Without Borders:Episode 4

August 26, 2011 · 56 comments


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So…. after being chased by ferocious monkeys on Bulangen beach, ruining a perfectly good/new camera, plus a mobile phone, plus the SD card malfunctioning AGAIN….. which is what happens when you pay over the odds for ‘local products’ rather than stick with the brand you know……

I have a new #NicheAmnesty.TV video for you, filmed at the TMBA compound by Mr Dan Andrews.

Phew.

If anyone had told me that producing a weekly video less than 3 minutes long would have come with the threat of animal violence, sleepness nights, Indonesian customer service and wait for it…Balinese internet speeds which can be slower than dial up…

I would may have thought twice!

But I’m glad I didn’t, because I love doing this and more importantly, I love sharing it with you guys. I hope you can tell.

The post my emailer was disturbed by and which inspired my question for the final episode of this series was “ If Beauty Is So Important Then Why Are You So Ugly.”

If you haven’t already read it, well…finish watching the video and dive right in!

The post of the week goes to:

JK Allen  for his amazingly on point post  ” How To Get And Maintain Motivation.”  This is a must read post for all those looking to  get and stay; in the fast lane, check it out and you’ll see what I mean.

Otherwise, enough of my chit chat….I look forward to hanging with you in the comments, lets start a conversation….

It’s all love.xx

P.S Not only do I appreciate your feedback, but I’d love to know what questions you’d like to see me asking or your topic suggestions; for up and coming series… send them to me why dontcha?

stacey@mylifestylemax.com


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{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }

Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 26, 2011 at 11:05 am
Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 26, 2011 at 11:31 am

Stacey’s big question: What is too much information (TMI) to put out on your blog?

I don’t know what is TMI as long as it is true, useful, and, of course, expressed with some dignity and/or self-control. That doesn’t mean there won’t be consequences.

Perhaps, the rule of thumb is about consequences. Can you live with the consequences or not?

I just got a note on linkedin from my father. Apparently, he heard my podcast, Confessions of a Freak-Geek-Misfit ( http://wp.me/pbg0R-nJ ). I don’t have a relationship with my father. Neither one of us made much effort to build a relationship. But, anyway, it is an interesting consequence.

I enjoyed Stacey’s blog post about pain. I like how she stuck her neck out to get a conversation started about pain. The conversation didn’t get very far, but I hope she will keep on going with that. I hope we’ll support her in that. It seems to be something important to Stacey. Something that she needs her friends to honor. And that would be us.

I’m sorry to see Amnesty TV end. I think it’s premature and sudden to end it like this. Just because it hasn’t driven 500 comments yet, doesn’t mean that it won’t in the near future…

I hope Stacey will reconsider.
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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Stacey August 26, 2011 at 11:46 am

Who said anything about Niche Amnesty ending!!!!!!!….even if it only got 2 comments..If I’m enjoying doing it…and the 2 people watching are enjoying watching…then it would continue. I don’t get down like that and neither do I give up so easily!
I
thought you’d know this Stan. Hmmm…maybe you skimmed the post, rather than read ….:-)

It’s not really important for me as such for my friends to ‘acknowledge my pain’, rather than to acknowledge I am not immune to it! Which is never seams to surprise me…when people are surprised that I’m upset, having a crap day, need a hug, to be told it will all be ok…etc
I also don;t see why I shouldn’t share it either?
If you can enjoy the best of me…then you can endure the worst…surely this pendulum swings both ways!
Or maybe that’s where the economics of friendship get jacked up!

Hmm…maybe it’ something I’m putting out there why people may seam to think I’m always ok..but I can assure you …some days my boat takes on a lot of water.
I’m glad your father contacted you…be kind to him..xx

Reply

Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 26, 2011 at 11:58 am

I’m glad that I misunderstood what you meant by saying this is the Final Episode of the Blogging Series. And more glad to hear that Amnesty TV will continue to boldy go where ordinary bloggers won’t. [laughing]

And, yeah, I was goading. [grin]

Actually, my father was more concerned about my status as an illegal alien. As I am no longer married to a Romanian, my residence cannot be easily renewed. The last lawyer I discussed this with estimated that residency will cost me many hundreds of thousand of dollars based on the past revenues of my start ups – the same revenues, ironically, for which I had already paid taxes to the Romanian state in the same amounts.

Meee-ow!
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 26, 2011 at 12:00 pm
Stacey August 26, 2011 at 12:23 pm

Impossible :-)

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Bill Dorman August 27, 2011 at 9:06 am

Illegal alien? I knew it……………..I told you Stacey………………:)
Bill Dorman recently posted..Is 63.5 a good number?

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 2:06 pm

Stan..has the passport to travel and be anywhere he like.s…but he’s still an Alien, lol

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Carolyn@The Wonder of Tech
Twitter: carpathia16
August 26, 2011 at 1:12 pm

Hi Stacey, another marvelous post! I just love watching you on video. It’s as if I’m getting together with my best girlfriend for a chat! And your voice is so lovely I could listen to you read the phone book. I’m serious. Try that sometime, you’ll see I’m not the only one!

For my blog TMI is bashing a developer. I review apps, mostly in the iTunes App Store. I test plenty and a lot of them crash, don’t deliver what they promise or have other problems.

But I appreciate how difficult and often thankless it is to develop apps, so I won’t slam the apps. Generally these apps get negative reviews in the App Store, so no one needs me piling on the negative reviews.

I will contact the developers and offer suggestions but many times I don’t hear back from them so perhaps they have given up on their apps.

My readers don’t need to know about rotten apps, they want to know about the wonder of tech. Why waste their time reading about tech that isn’t wonderful?

But I’m probably alone in answering this way.

So glad you are continuing with this! I am still catching up post-vacation. I would have been caught up by now but that generous Adrienne Smith wrote a kind blog post about my contest and suddenly I have dozens of comments to reply to. Does that sound like a complaint? Well it shouldn’t. :-)

So I will do some shameless self-promotion and link to Adrienne’s amazing post: http://adriennesmith.net/with-a-little-help-from-my-friends/

Have an awesome weekend!
Carolyn@The Wonder of Tech recently posted..The Gathering Storm – Prepare with Tech!

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 1:04 am

Phone book reading coming your way, lol. Your TMI is not only good for your blog, but your karma…why not write about the apps you love, rather than the ones you hate right? I’m sure the developers who coded rubishhy apps feel bad enough about it, as it is without being told it was ….er….rubbish. I remember being younger and being told ” if you don’t have anything nice to say, then say nothing at all”. Whilst I don’t necessarily agree with that, being positive …is always a good thing! Thanks for sharing your thoughts …and nothing shameless about promoting the work of the MLSM family…that’s what this space is ALL about….you go girl.xx

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Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 27, 2011 at 1:23 am

I voted for The Wonder of Tech! (x5) RT @adriennesmith40 With A Little Help From My Friends
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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Betsy Cross
Twitter: BetsyKCross
August 26, 2011 at 2:17 pm

Hey Stacey!
I’ve been thinking about why I really like to speak from my heart, making most people (including my mom!) uncomfortable. The only thing I can conclude is that before I came to earth God figured out He could tell me anything, or put me in any situation and I’d find a lesson in it and want to share it. He knew I’d listen to dead people HAHA! and feel compelled to spread that joy. I could go on. But I think you get the jist of where I’m going. SOMEONE HAS TO SAY IT! (the uncomfortable stuff).
I feel uncomfortable and really uneasy being vulnerable. But I’m scared of dying without having spoken my mind if it feels like the thing to do.
When I started listening to you I got this sinking feeling that I always get: someone had to tell me to shut up and do things right! Thanks for not going there. I would have run like the wind.
My greatest joy in life is seeing the beauty in everyone, criminal and saint. But I express that my own way. I never want to embarrass the people I know and love. But with their permission I tell the truth in words and pictures. I made people uncomfortable when I showed my dad in his nursing home bed. But that’s where he is and how he looks. Others may have been uncomfortable talking about my grandmother’s homosexuality, and still more would tell me that a lot of my blogposts come way too close to the line.
All I can say is don’t read them. But know this: your discomfort (not you, Stacey) means you have feelings to figure out. Feel free to avoid them or embrace them.
(Me thinks you hit a nerve! LOL!)
Love ya!
P.S. The link below is my Grandma post I’d referred to!
Betsy
Betsy Cross recently posted..Evelyn’s Out of the Closet. Again!

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 1:10 am

I wrote a post once that really hurt someone. They were all pouty and upset and their feelings where hurt. The thing is, my heart behind that post was actually saying that they are the truth…the best….cooler…than the cool….but hey we get these things wrong sometimes!
Anyways, I digress. some HAS TO SAY THE UNCOMFORTABLE STUFF…..yes mam, they do…and I’m glad I’m not alone in believing or doing it either. I would never try to tell YOU or anyone else how to do things right…my goal is to share what works for me..what is tried and tested in my life, and give others different options, should they so wish to take them. Don’t run like the wind…we need you here Betsy…your awesomeness would be so incredibly missed.

But know this: your discomfort means you have feelings to figure out. Feel free to avoid them or embrace them. agreed!

Thanks for linking to that post…was just about to ask for one…and Bam…my girl read my mind.xx

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Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 27, 2011 at 1:26 am

Big hug to you Betsy!
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 27, 2011 at 1:42 am

I went over and read, Evelyn’s Out of the Closet, Again. You wrote it with such care. I’m surprised that anyone could be uncomfortable with your “modest” and intimate honesty.
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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Betsy Cross
Twitter: BetsyKCross
August 26, 2011 at 2:26 pm

Thought of something! I try to read my post before publishing to see if all of the content adds value to the topic. THAT’S one form of TMI that I know can distract a reader but NOT be too heavy emotionally. Everything else is fine.
Betsy Cross recently posted..Evelyn’s Out of the Closet. Again!

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Adrienne
Twitter: adriennesmith40
August 26, 2011 at 4:02 pm

Ah, another wonderful fabulous video from Miss Stacey! I love seeing you on camera and hearing your wonderful voice. Love a girl with an accent.

What is too much information? Darn good questions girl! If I have learned one thing since entering blogging it would be to stay true to yourself and just be you. If that is sharing what’s going on with you and it’s not pretty, so be it. If a reader stumbles upon your blog and doesn’t get it, too bad.

I have some things in my past I have yet to share mainly because I don’t want the pitty party going on, I’m so past all the things that have happened to me in my life and they don’t define me. They also really have nothing to do with what I’m trying to accomplish here online. I’ve shared enough of myself for my readers to get a general idea of just who I am.

For a blog like yours though, sometimes more is needed. I don’t know about anyone else but I love what you share so keep up the great work!

Hope that was someone helpful. As always, loved your post and loved this series. Thanks so much for putting yourself out there Stacey. I enjoyed it!

Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted..With A Little Help From My Friends

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 1:01 am

Hey Adrienne, I agree, we are not defined by our past, but if we can be aware of the lessons we have learnt… and can shape our future. I don’t trawl through my sad stories to have something to share with you guys, but I think its just as important to acknowledge the uncomfortable stuff as it is the ‘happy clappy, feel good stuff’. Keeping what your trying to accomplish is always wise. I had to write this out in big red pen and stick in front of my computer only this week…focus focus focus. I’m glad you like what I share with you all, it means alot to me. Any ideas you have for forthcoming series, just inbox me.xx

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Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 27, 2011 at 1:54 am

Adrienne: Love how you are lifting Carolyn up (With a Little Help From My Friends)!
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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Carolyn@The Wonder of Tech
Twitter: carpathia16
August 26, 2011 at 6:40 pm

Okay, Stacey, can I give another link since Adrienne was here linking her amazing blog post? Please?

Okay, thanks so much. I would like to link Stan Faryna’s post this week. I keep thinking about it, so powerful. http://stanfaryna.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/empty-handed-and-less-traveled-roads-and-other-social-media-dohs/

You’re a love!
Carolyn@The Wonder of Tech recently posted..The Gathering Storm – Prepare with Tech!

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 12:50 am

Of course you can, this is the place where the MLSM community, can openly support and share each others work. This post of Stans stood out to me too.xx

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Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 27, 2011 at 2:02 am

Big hug to you Carolyn! I appreciate you.
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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bonnie squires
Twitter: bonnie67
August 27, 2011 at 1:21 am

hi

i was here i’ll be back in the morning
when i’m not tired it’s 12:30 am here

Stacey you have a good day or night
Bonnie Squires

PS Hay Stan do you all ways have to
be the first one. lol
bonnie squires recently posted..Love is six parts giving and one part talk

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Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 27, 2011 at 1:57 am

Stacey can tell you about all the tweets and emails I sent bugging her about when she’d be getting up Episode 4. [grin]

She didn’t give me an ETA, so I just kept refreshing the home page of her blog every hour or so.

Because… that’s what you do when you love strongly. [smile]
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Bonnie…you come back when your ready…the door is always open..but you know that. Look forward to seeing you when your well rested. I don’t work on Sundays any more…digital fast day…so if I don’t reply back on a sunday..you know why. Nuff love to you and the hubby and kids.xx

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Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 27, 2011 at 2:07 am

Where the heck is Mister Dorman? I’d also like to hear answers from Dino Dogan, Christian, Amber-Lee, Al Smith, Aaron Biebert, Jayme Soulati and all the other Triberrati.

I guess I better send some tweets out.
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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Al Smith August 27, 2011 at 9:20 am

Ok, Stan. I commented. Are you trying to break Bill’s record for comments? You got a long way to go, bro. Ha ! Thanks for the RT for this video. Great topic.

Al
Al Smith recently posted..CHOICES and CHANGES: Who CARES?

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Stan..I really appreciated the way you got behind me and what I’m trying to create with NicheAmnesty today…your a true solider and friend and without your early days encouragement..and idea…none of this would be happening. Thank you.xx

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Yomar Lopez
Twitter: Yogizilla
August 27, 2011 at 2:31 am

This is the million-dollar question for the month, heck, the past four or five months!

The tangent issues of transparency, authenticity, credibility, professionalism… So much is connected to this otherwise simple question. I will avoid a canned response because your energy and warmth encourages nothing less!

Well, I honestly think this is an issue you have to keep wrestling with until it sits right with you.. You also have to do lots of personal development because, without the proper convictions, we’ll surely succumb to conformity.. or worse.

Before anyone can answer this, you have to ask yourself, “Are you ready to take a stand for what you truly believe in, regardless of the cost?”

Then I wonder, “Is it worth it?”

Do you know what your core values are? Are you principle-driven or people-driven? Maybe both? Are they even mutually exclusive?

Okay.. Enough with the rhetorical questions!

I think everything is fair play so long as you’re considerate of others. As Dino Dogan would say, sometimes you have to play the part of consultant and, other times, you play the part of insultant (or something to that effect). I try not to be a salty dog, even when provoked.. Being bitter, holding grudges, or constantly emanating caustic glibness is a waste of energy.

With that in mind, speak from the gut and be real.. Because pretending only lasts so long, anyway! Might as well cut straight to the chase and focus on those that like you just the way you are. Besides, our words can be misconstrued regardless of our best intentions and careful hand-picking of the perfect proverbial berries (mmm berries).

I make it a point not to make bold statements, challenge thought, or go against the grain just to stir controversy.. I don’t look to insult people or add to the negativity out there already.. But I do feel we all have to take a stand, offending others be darned. Intention does matter, even if it’s not measurable or tangible.

So, in all my sleep-deprived ranting, I’d say that you should just be forthright and as open as you are comfortable with.. But be yourself whatever way you chop it up. If the person you are is full of suck, fix the things wrong within you so you can be yourself publicly.. and not have the exorcists called on you.

I don’t know if that made any sense.. But maybe I gave some of you some ideas to wrestle with.

(I see question marks floating over heads… But not dead people, thankfully.)

…BTW, hi Stacey and Stan! ^_^
Yomar Lopez recently posted..Support-A-Thon: Forging A StumbleUpon Alliance & Unlocking StumbleUpon’s Full Potential

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Stan Faryna
Twitter: Faryna
August 27, 2011 at 3:22 am

Yomar, you brought much passion and think to this moveable feast. I like that.
Stan Faryna recently posted..Empty-handed and Less Traveled Roads. And other social media DOHs.

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 2:18 pm

For real..I don;’t even know where to start in reply to the ton of goodness Yomar bought today..and the funny things is I sent him an email this morning just to say hi…as I remember you saying he was good people…and now I see, he is a force to be reckoned with. This was a powerhouse..sucker punch of a comment. In the very best way!

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 2:27 pm

Yeeshh…you killed me here Yomar…where is a girl to start! I think with the line that made me laugh and shake my head in agreement “If the person you are is full of suck, fix the things wrong within you so you can be yourself publicly.. and not have the exorcists called on you”
It made me think of a phrase I say occasionally…usually to myself ” girl you have to shut down that wicked lip monster” ;-)
You made 10 kinds of sense with what you said here…sleep deprivation obviously gets you in your creative and articulate flow. I to, try not to be a salty dog, or call people out just for the sake of it. For some reason you usually end up looking like a smart ass, a know it all..and slightly annoying…no one wants to be thought of all those things right? . However, there is a time and a place for giving your ‘no holds barred’, feedback, opinions and thoughts, but I guess it’s down to us as individuals to have the right degree of discernment, to know how and when that right place is!
“Are you ready to take a stand for what you truly believe in, regardless of the cost?” yes sir..I am.
If I stand for nothing, I fall for anything…I don’t want to be the dancer on the fence..the wishy washy chic…
neither do I want to push my opinions in the face of others like I have all the answers, as Gods know I don’t….but I have learnt that if you don’t stand up and be counted for what you believe in… then at your core is a deep lack of personal knowledge and integrity. I’d rather put it all on the line…and know I took a heroes journey, rather than the cowards way out…wouldn’t you!

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Tim Soulo August 27, 2011 at 3:56 am

Hmmmmm… too much information? I think I will agree with Stan – it’s about the consequences. There are things you don’t want everybody to know, as this may cause some trouble. Pretty much like in real life.. there is a ton of information you can share with literally anyone, and there are tiny bits that you can share with only the closest ppl. Same with the blog.

But again, it depends on your aim. Being provocative never hurts your popularity :)
Tim Soulo recently posted..29 Brilliant Posts You Have to Read Before I Call You an Internet Marketer

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Being provocative may not hurt your popularity, but on some occasions, it may hurt your reputation. Every one likes to watch the fire starter throw a molotov cocktail, but no one wants to stand too close and they pray it isn’t being thrown AT THEM right? For the most part, I’m pretty much an open book…I have very little I want to hide any more, not from myself or anyone else! That being said, I also appreciate the values of discretion, self respect and preservation…and knowing there is a time to speak and a time to be silent! It’s good to see you here Tim, there are so many people in our tribe it’s hard to keep up with everyone and make personal contact, I really appreciate your effort, really I do. Thank you

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Jaiyant Cavale
Twitter: jaiyant
August 27, 2011 at 8:37 am

I guess it is an extremely subjective question, ‘TMI’. It would be preposterous to assume that everyone would feel the same way about how much is too much information to share on a blog. There are all kinds of blogs, and some are personal in nature, and some are professional in nature, and some border between the both. In any case, ‘too much information’ at this point of time to me seems more to do with privacy issues, more than anything else. The first question you must ask yourself is, ‘are you going to harm with the information you are sharing on your blog?’ If you are causing no harm, I guess nothing would be too much or too less. Then again, it is all so subjective, that I am not even saying I am right. I may feel different tomorrow. Or after a couple of months. Or after a few hours,.
Jaiyant Cavale recently posted..Happy Birthday Shirley Manson!

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 2:11 pm

Jaiyant…I LOVE your name, its beautiful. Your right , TMI is subjective. However I do agree totally with what you say here “The first question you must ask yourself is, ‘are you going to harm with the information you are sharing on your blog?” All though we have free liberty to speak as we find, we should also keep in mind the permanent and sharing nature of the things we put on the internet, especially if we intend to say something that could or will affect any individual in a negative way. However, I think there is room for constructive criticism if you get both your facts and your tone right! It’s good to see you here…keep coming back…we have a good time ;-)
And if you have any questions you would like posed for #NicheAmnesty.TV feel free to shot me an email, and I’ll see what can be done about it!

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Bill Dorman August 27, 2011 at 9:12 am

For me, TMI is telling me about that sore you have on your back and what it looked like when they had to lance it open and how it made the nurse faint and she chipped a tooth when she hit the bed pan with her face…………..:).

There is a line but I find myself being ‘more’ open online than with some IRL friends. Not that I wouldn’t discuss the same things with them; it would just have to be at the appropriate time. Sometimes I catch myself empathizing with someone when they share a story and include one on myself as well.

For some, I feel this is there only sounding board so it’s a form of therapy if you will.

Sorry the vids have been a chore, but love them and the effort. Nice lid BTW………….:)

Have a good weekend.
Bill Dorman recently posted..Is 63.5 a good number?

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Al Smith August 27, 2011 at 9:16 am

Hi Stacey (and Stan). Stacey, I have been seeing your name a lot and looking at your tweets. This is the first time i have been here and checked out a video. (Thanks Stan). Great stuff and the camera luvs you. Like others, I could listen to you talk, or read for hours.

Very interesting topic. TMI. I am new to the blog world and my website has been up for less than a month. I really struggle with this question. It took me forever to figure out how much to “share” on my “About Al”, page, for the site and I continue to contemplate this as I work on my weekly blog posts. I know I am here to share my life experiences with others and help people grow and CARE for one another. Having been so self absorbed for most of my adult life and now, to make better choices and changes and to actually CARE about others, is something that needs to be heard. If I can do it, you can too. It’s never too late for change.

So far, so good. It is something I continue to think about and pray about. My gut usually steers me in the right direction and if I am still unsure, I usually run it by someone else, before publishing.

Regarding Mr. JK Allen (the Humble Hustler), he is truly awesome. Not only is he a great writer and blogger, but he designs incredible websites (See: The CARE Movement). So proud of him. Love the Motivation post, too.

Thanks again Stacey. I will be back. Have a GREAT-Ful day and take CARE.

Al

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Hey Al, how funny and also fantastic to see you here today, I was just complimenting JK about his work on your blog…you had a beautiful spot there…it’s super duper cool! As you get more into your blogging stride, no doubt you will not only find your authentic voice, but your demarcation line on what to share with your readers. It took me a little while to truly find my voice..months even, but I remember writing the post when I did. It felt like freedom…my heart wrote and not my head…and I knew I was home. I like that your here to share your life experiences with others..and help people grow and CARE for each other. Sharing is caring right? I look forward to getting to know you..BTW you have such a smiling warm face..your avatar is very engaging. I thought this from seeing your comments at other blogs I visit. Look forward to getting to know you and your blog Al. Nuff love,xx

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Al Smith August 27, 2011 at 3:57 pm

Thanks Stacey. But now I have to go look up “demarcation”. Ha !

Sharing is CAREing. I actually put this on bottom of emails and it’s on the website. CARE and Share !

Really appreciate what you do. So glad I finally got over here. Continued success.

Al
Al Smith recently posted..CHOICES and CHANGES: Who CARES?

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Bell
Twitter: StartYourNovel
August 27, 2011 at 9:29 am

Stacy,
it all boils down to your unspoken contract with the reader. What they can expect from your blog. Readers want to understand your blog, they want to know what it’s for. When you overstep the boundaries you got them used to, they may get upset. That happens.

It’s your blog. If they can’t handle a little humanity, they’re free to stop reading at any time. The MSNBC pages are just a click away.
Bell recently posted..Seasons Come and Go, But Cocktails Are Forever

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 2:01 pm

It never occurred to me that readers could get upset if you changed the parameters of your blog…but I guess you are right….people DO want to know what your blog is about, and that they will find continuity there. I think it’s good to show some humanity. But like yourself and Redhead Writing state…if people don’t like what you do, they are free to stop reading at any time…her language was a little more fruity though : -)

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John Garrett
Twitter: johngarrettx
August 27, 2011 at 10:49 am

Hey Stacey! Hope all is well!

I don’t think there’s necessarily anything I was scared to share, but as others have stated some things just aren’t a good fit for certain blogs.

I guess I’ll spare my readers the excruciating minutiae of my daily trials and tribulations. I can save my complaining and warbling for my Facebook friends :)

Although there are a few tidbits of info that in hindsight I could have left out lol…
John Garrett recently posted..How to Deal with Stupid Clowns Pt 3 – Facebook Follies

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Stacey August 27, 2011 at 1:58 pm

Hi John…good to see you..I mean..seriously, I appreciate you getting our friendship started :-) My girlfriend said the other day she was shocked at how honest I was on FB, I was thinking ” you should see the stuff, I think but dont say, lol” You are right though, some things are just a bad fit for certain blogs. If you are writing for a very tight niche it will seam rather odd, if you suddenly start blogging about your relationship, you might scare a few peeps!

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Lori Gosselin August 27, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Hi Stacey,
I’ve been here for some time listening to what everyone else has to say – you’ve got some great engagement here! I’m not surprised! Like two of the girls here, I too love listening to your accent!
I’m not sure what is TMI. I think if I talk about myself and not my husband, that’s a start. I mention my kids sometimes, but that seems okay. I think in my case, I watch the perimeters of the blog and try to remember our goals. For instance ;-) I want to be uplifting but still relevant and about life. I guess I have to judge it as it comes.
As for other people, that’s up to them as well. It all depends on the type of blog you intend to create!
Love seeing your videos Stacey!
Lori
Lori Gosselin recently posted..How Important are First Impressions to You?

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Stacey August 29, 2011 at 3:02 pm

Hey Ms Lori, thanks for sharing mam…I hear you about keeping your personal relationships…personal. It’s a matter of respect. You are always uplifting Lori, thats what I like about coming over to your blog…and in our conversation with one another the other day. I’m glad you liked the video Lori, I really enjoy making them…despite getting chased by ferocious monkeys. The wonderful people who engage with me and each other here….make it all worth it. Thanks for your input my friend.xx

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Marianne Worley
Twitter: MarianneWorley
August 28, 2011 at 11:57 pm

Hi Stacey,

As you know, I tell a lot of personal stories on my blog. I write many of them to share business lessons and tips I’ve learned during my career. But other stories are very personal–and I feel like I’m walking the “TMI line.” I believe that as long as I stay true to myself, and I’m telling a story for a reason that fits my goals, then I’m OK. And the same is the case for other bloggers.

When a story comes from the heart, it evokes emotion from the reader. I’ve read blogs that have made me laugh hysterically and others that have left me in tears. And I can truthfully say that I never thought too much information was revealed.

Another great video Stacey!
Marianne Worley recently posted..How to Transform Yourself into a Better Listener

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Stacey August 29, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Hey Marianne, I like that you share stories on your blog…stories are powerful, they connect people and provide commonality. I have never read anything on your blog that felt like TMI…but I have read things that made me laugh. Thanks for sharing and I’m glad you like the video. If you have any questions you want me to pose on the vlog, then let me know.xx

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Jk Allen August 29, 2011 at 8:24 am

Hi Stacey,

Thanks for the honorable mention in making my post the Post of the Week last week. How awesome is that!

When it comes to borders – I think a blogger should as far as they are comfortable. If a reader can’t handle it – they always have the option of not continuing if they are offended or uncomfortable. I think the more transparency the better. Considering taste is a factor – let the let the boarders drop.

You’re great on video Stacey!

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Stacey August 29, 2011 at 2:29 pm

You earned the recommendation JK, this was a fierce post! I agree, if people don’t like what your doing they don’t have to stick around, right?

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Amberr Meadows August 29, 2011 at 9:33 am

Stan and Stacey, I took your advice and now I’m subscribed so I can enjoy every #NicheAmnesty every week. Loving it all so far. Look to see more of me, and thank you both!
Amberr Meadows recently posted..Housecleaning or Hiking? Hmmm…

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Stacey August 31, 2011 at 11:18 am

Hey Amber glad you took Stans recommendation and subscribed, it’s good to have you as part of the MLSM family.xx

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Ville Kilkku
Twitter: VilleKilkku
August 29, 2011 at 7:13 pm

I find it intriguing how closely most comments here mirror John Stuart Mill’s famous arguments in On Liberty (1859). I really recommend reading the book, as it is the foundation of the view that freedom of speech is based on not causing harm to others.

Let’s take a little peek at what Mill argued:

“The object of this Essay is to assert one very simple principle … the sole end for which mankind are warranted, individually or collectively, in interfering with the liberty of action of any of their number, is self-protection.”

The basic argument is that harm to others is the only thing that society should prevent. Otherwise, individuals are to do as they please.

Mill also recognizes several things that appear in various comments here:
- There should be special arrangements for minors, as they are not yet fully capable members of the society.
- The manner in which thoughts are expressed counts: Mill’s example is a claim that corn-dealers are starvers of the poor, which is fine printed in a paper but not fine shouted in front of an angry mob.
- Thoughts that can be legally expressed may have consequences, even though they are not legal consequences: “What I contend for is, that the inconveniences which are strictly inseparable from the unfavourable judgement of others, are the only ones to which a person should ever be subjected for that portion of his conduct and character which concerns his own good, but which does not affect the interests of others in their relations with him.”

What does this have to do with too much information?

Everything that is published on the internet, spreads all over the internet. Therefore, Mill’s general thoughts are actually quite relevant.

First, harm to others. There is no angry mob at a blogger’s beck and call, but there are still limits on what you should reveal about others.

Second, protection of minors. I cannot stress the importance of this too much, and I think this applies to every single blog out there. It is important to be extra careful about what you share about children.

Third, consequences of being who you are. Mill recognized that some consequences of voicing your opinions are inevitable as they are the result of different personalities and preferences. People may avoid you or speak ill of you if they disagree with your values. Add to this that what you publish in your blog may stay on the internet forever, and this becomes a fairly big question.

The above is not a complete practical guideline. However, I think it shows that a Millian framework can be used by anyone as a guideline on where to draw the line. The numerous references to similar values in comments show that this framework is actually already implicitly present in our society to a large degree – making the thought process explicit should help gain even clearer insight.

I suppose I should write a line or two about my own blog as well. I don’t think my personal life is particularly interesting or valuable to the internet audience, so my blog is focused on ideas, not events. Naturally, any examples draw from my own experiences, and I can be rather blunt at times, so to an extent I am exposed to the judgement of others. Still, for a blog such as mine, TMI is not that much of an issue.

As a final comment, I think this quote from On Liberty fits the atmosphere of this particular blog very well:
“In proportion to the development of his individuality, each person becomes more valuable to himself, and is therefore capable of being more valuable to others.”
Ville Kilkku recently posted..Klout, Triberr, paper.li, and the future of content curation

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Stacey August 31, 2011 at 12:58 pm

Wooo…you knocked this one right out the ball park, and it’s interesting your observation; that people seam to implicitly follow this value system. Thank you for sharing this resource with us, I had never heard of John Stuart Mills before, but will definitely being going over to check him out. I really appreciate the thought and articulation that went into sharing this insight with the community here. Ville…you rocked it!

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Jamie September 1, 2011 at 10:14 pm

Thank you Stacey for sharing it with us. Motivation is the force that drives you to action and the strongest motivation is comes from the heart, you must have the self esteem to reach your goal.

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